merry christmas

It’s Christmas Eve and besides the couple of times I’ve walked by the Christmas tree stands in Park Slope, it definitely doesn’t feel like Christmas around here.

A corner in the living room is still full of boxes, which totally prevents me from wrapping my mind around decorating. I haven’t watched a single Christmas movie or listened to the music. I haven’t even baked. I barely shopped. And I’m starting to wonder when Christmas stopped being so damn exciting and just became a giant checklist of crap that if you don’t accomplish, you don’t feel “Christmasy.”

Right before we moved, I had designs on making some lovely Christmas dinner — mostly a carbon copy of what my mom makes. But we’re eating off end tables right now until we find a table. Plus the boxes, those distracting boxes! So I’m all out of sorts and starting to lean towards Chinese.

You could say Christmas is about the people, not the decorations. But it’s not much comfort to me when I haven’t been to my family’s Christmas, let alone seen my family for Christmas, in three years.

My mom tells me holidays don’t become important again till you have kids. What if we never have any?

I’m missing a feeling, but perhaps it’s one you never get back.

So we went to Manhattan. We looked at the store windows, strolled through the American Girl store, got cheeseburgers, muttered many obscenities about the wind, heard many obscenities shouted from cabs — overall, a festive day.

Have a lovely holiday, however you spend it!

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One thought on “merry christmas

  1. liz

    I spent one year in NYC (my first, I believe) on my own for christmas, didn’t decorate, didn’t plan anything. It was … depressing, actually. Two years later, Matt and I spent another year in NYC, this time in Harlem, and made a couple of our own traditions. Mainly involving food. The macy’s christmas land is totally nuts, but somehow really charming.

    Somehow it does become about the decorations, the food, the movies. If you don’t have the slew of family around I found it really helpful to partake in some traditions, or make up your own. Of course, this is my experience…

    NYC on christmas eve and christmas day is a very eerie experience. quiet, and kind of nice.


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